I had every expectation of sleeping in to my hearts content. Waking up and fixing my car. Repackong and heading out to Albuquerque, New Mexico. If you couldn’t tell this did not happen. 

I woke up to the sound of someone getting bitched at, with my door cracked open for some reason. What the fuck man. Not going to lie one of the few things in life that can piss me off really fast and a lot is being woken up before I’m ready to be woken up unless it’s my alarm. I fucking HATE IT. In high school it took my mom a year of brow beating to finally stop trying to beat my alarm clock and when she did we were both much happier. The way I look at it is I can get pissed off at my phone or clock but I’m not going to break it because my inner Jew realizes it costs time and money to replace it. 

Anyway the Spanish kid staying in the other room is bitching at his white friend who was staying in the same room. He looks in and goes my bad dude did I wake you up? Ya you did fucker. I’m pissed but I have to go to the bathroom so fuck it. I’ll go, let them finish up over the course of 15 min and go back to sleep for a bit. Nope. As I’m relaxing on the porcelain throne these two mother fuckers are yelling at eachother and pushing and fighting. What the fuck man.  The this conversation takes place and I swear to god it was like listening to jerry springer from the bathroom without visual. 

Spanish kid: don’t put your fucking hands on me you punk bitch. 

White kid: shut up you fag. 

Spanish kid: I can get any girl I want. 

Push shove and slapping.

Spanish kid: keep your fucking hands off me. 

White kid: you’re fucking gay. You like big black dick in your ass stop your bullshit. 

Spanish kid: but I can get girls

White kid: doesn’t matter you’re gay. (Screaming) YOU LIKE BIG DICK FAG

More wrestling and yelling. 

White kid snacks him again. 

Spanish kid: you’re just mad because I don’t want to fuck you. Get the fuck out of here. Just leave. You know what if you want to act like a bitch put your hands up and let’s go. 

White kid ::smack::

Spanish kid: intelligible but clearly getting smacked around. 

Me: laughing and trying my hardest to record the conversation through the door. 

Spanish kid: I get bitches man. 

White kid: you haven’t been with a girl In months. You’re denying that you’re gay. Stop it. 

Spanish kid: ya I love big black sick and white dick in my ass but I don’t want you but I get chicks and you’re just mad I don’t want to fuck you. 

More physical abuse. 

This continued for another 20 minutes after I had gone back to my room. And I’m not going to lie I was a little nervous. I grabbed my hunting knife and laid in bed with it just in case they got stupid. He tried knocking on my door and I just ignored him because they were still fighting and I want no part in this. 

Finally they stop and the kid says bye to me through the door.

I’ve been up for about an hour because of this now. I’m still tired but times ticking and a I have a lot to do. Whatever. 

I get up and throw in some laundry and run out to work on my car. As per hoies suggestion I poured diet soda onto the contacts and scrubbed them down like the little sluts they were and freed them of all build up.

While I’m working on my car Josh’s old roommate comes out and we start shooting the shit. Really handsome and awesome kid named Brett. A conversation mostly about traveling and moving all over the place and how much he loved Austin. Super awesome dude. Pended me some tools to fix my radiator. I fixed my headlight and mounted my muffler back on with a metal coat hanger. My birch was good to go. And I got to have company and a beer. Win. 

I stopped at torchys tacos one more time because that shit is legit. And hopped on the road. So let’s fast forward because for 9 hours there’s pretty much nothing but: me, road, making stupid noises at myself, Joe rogan podcast and bill burr podcast. 

Thank fucking god I have Erin and Dick who have given me at least a few hours of conversation. <3 you both. 

My mom and dad and brother are also there for morale because they too are awesome. Love you guys. 

So nothing memorable other then me losing my shot on myself really happened. About 1am though I was finally tired like 9 hours of driving a lot of it at night. Erin was nervous and called me to make sure I got to a motel. So on the phone. It’s just me and her bullshiting. A train on my left hand side and just fucking black. I mean pitch black so super creepy. And I ask her like. What if an alien abducted me right now. Just like WOOSH ( we were on FaceTime) I disappear and the car goes off the road and just smashes into something and you have no idea what happens. 

This bitches response is. I probably don’t say anything so they don’t come and take me away. Lmfao. Cold hearted man.

Anyway. I finally make it to this really retro motel. The dude who owns it is super nice. And gave me $5 off because I was all alone. So it was $45 for the night. I went into the room. Through on the air. Went on probhub. Pleasured myself and went to bed. Check out (kuaii girl on pornhub ????) Told you shit was boring. 

I wasn’t really drinking a beer. I was teasing Erin. ​​​​

While I was standing in line at a gas stop the thing just fucking exploded, untouched. Was so cool. Me being stubborn. The right bed is where the magic happened. Look at that toilet seat. Hahahaha
Where I finally gave up. 

Here to life. Cheers everyone. With love.