Things I learned today. 

1. An 11 hour drive is much different on paper. Especially with your mom in tow. 

2. Louis ck wife sounds like she was a serious cunt from his stand up. 

3. I’m very sticky. 

4. I can drive a long time without getting tired. 

5. I was driving 80-90 mph and I was the slow car. Southern drivers are animals. I love them. Stay right. Pass left. 

6. I’m really bad at picking out music and driving safely. I shouldn’t do it. 

7. My moms humor aligns more with Doug Stanhope and Louis ck than Billy Burr and Dave Chapelle. 

Things I relearned today.

1. My mom can talk forever. About anything. Forever. 

2. My jeep drinks gas. 

3. Masturbating at gas stops is a lot harder with your mom waiting in the car. 

4. I’m joking about three. Maybe. 

5. Pictures of hotels and what they actually look like are hilariously different. 

6. Forgetting things at home costs money. 

7. Taking pictures while driving is also not safe. :p

Lastly. I ate here as a kid. And still remember it’s a shit hole. Don’t ever. Ever go here. Unless you want hepatitis c. And or some really shitty food and regret. 
Hotel update: 

Found a pube on my towel. 

Then the water in the shower backed up. 

Then when I tried to call the front desk while giggling and the phone doesn’t work and is plugged in. I pray the safe works. Lmfao. 

I’m in fucking tears. 

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